Vada Yakshi

The Vada Yakshi woke up that evening pretty darn tired at her home perched on top of a palm tree somewhere in Kerala-Tamizhnaade border. It was sunset, and as usual, Yakshi-s, being the nocturnal beings they are, wake up by sunset, and like us in the mornings, they feel pretty hungry and dehydrated. Now dear folks, as humans we can open a pack of Kelloggs Choco Chips and mix it with a glass of 2% reduced fat milk and satisfy our morning craving. Not for the Vada Yakshi, for the typical Vada Yakshi meal is human blood. Ahh yes, you guessed it right, they are the vampires of Kerala. Not big Mac, but, warm human blood - calente sangre humana. So like other surviving Vada Yakshi-s, our anti-heroine, Le Vada Yakshi, frantically changes her look by wiping off blood stains from her face and clothes and changing into her evening wear, a faded dark blue cotton blouse and a white old cotton wrap. The quintessential southern beauty she is, her buxom figure constantly tries to escape her benign blouse and wrap that barely stays in position by virtue of two clips she somehow managed to clip together sitting on top of her palm tree residence. A palm tree residence, might immediately bring to your mind, a Los Angelesque, laid back, residential area with palm trees lining the road, with possibly another mansion that Antonio Banderas (Plural for Antonio Bandera) owns. No, no, no, dear readers might have forgotten that Vada Yakshi-s live on the top of palm trees. But if you think about it, theres no further definition given to this palm tree residence by amateur theatres or novels by Kottayam Pushpanath. One's mind can only but dwell on the impossibilites of such an idea. Regardless, our anti-heroine, Le Vada Yakshi, gets ready for her night out!

Vada Yakshi grabs an English Muffin with sausage egg and cheese on her way down from the top to the less treaded Ottayadi(single slap) pavement by the forest. It's then that her well-trained nose grabs a scent! Not the Scent of a Woman, but of a man. She bites her sumptuous lips red, red from the nutritious blood of Krishnan Kutty Pothuval, whose blood stains she wiped off a few minutes back. She aligns her wrap and blouse in position and stands there like a prostitute who would fuck at the glimmer of a twenty. Now, dear readers, must understand that Vada Yakshi-s are known for their hypnotic powers, even though she looks like a prostitute and is dressed like a prostitute, she would appear to the man walking alone on that distant path, at the end of a hard days work, consumed by the weight of the evening and the presence of the dark forest, like a destitute hapless young woman who needs his attention and care. The most well known Vada Yakshi-s could make a man feel like she is a cultured woman from a well known family. It's not uncommon that men, entranced by a Vada Yakshi's persona, propose marriage to a Vada Yakshi. Few Vada Yakshis have been married to well-known Brahmin families from Kerala, but sooner or later, the Yakshi wipes their families clean off the face of earth. Brahmin boys, born to Yakshis, typically display Rajo-gunas or dark-characteristics, and often contemplate climbing a palm tree when theres one in the vicinity.

Unfortunately, this poor man, who goes by the name Supremani Iyer (Subramanya Iyer), who mostly stuck to Tamil, even though he lived in Kerala, does not possess any Superman qualities. Supremani sees our Yakshi from about a half Nazhi distance. He immediately understands that she is a Yakshi, but unfortunately, the hypnotic powers of a Vada Yakshi are already in action. Vada Yakshi stories appeal to the typical male, the same way we feel a tingling at the mention of "Femme Fatale". They were the Bond girls of the then Kerala. So even when a victim recognizes the Yakshi, he still hopes. He hopes for that magical escape after an intimate encounter, only to savour that experience for the rest of his life. It's not every day that a Vada Yakshi approaches you. The average repressed Kerala Brahmin male sees a James Bondesque adventure for a second.

And that marks the end of him. A Vada Yakshi can put any man in a trance at the slightest hint of a such a weakness. He will then believe what he thought he would never believe and accompany her to her pleasure house atop the palm. Sure, he gets a wild lay, but sure, does his guts be torn open with bare hands and his blood stain the evening palm.